Tony Z's LIVEJOURNAL
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Tony Z.'s LiveJournal:
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| Tuesday, May 5th, 2009 | | 7:32 am |
| | Tuesday, November 18th, 2008 | | 10:00 pm |
| | Monday, November 3rd, 2008 | | 11:02 pm |
read this blog
I had a few cocktails tonight and decided to read some old blogs! man, i made some great blogs... Look at this old blog, from a day when I made FOUR BLOGS IN ONE DAY. What the hell was wrong with me back then? I must have thought girls were reading my blog or something: http://mrkevincostner.livejournal.com/2002/12/11/ | | Thursday, August 28th, 2008 | | 11:58 am |
World's most annoying gay guy
On my flight last night I was seated a few rows away from the world's most annoying gay guy. I think he had been drinking during the entire flight, because I didn't notice him until near the end, when they said we would be landing in about an hour and a half, and he yelled out, "Hour and a half, bitches!" He then spent the entire rest of the flight yelling at the top of his lungs such gay witicisms as the following, all of which are actual quotes... "I am wasted bitches!" "Landing bitches!" "I need a cigarette, bitches! Who else needs a cigarette!" "I live in the East Village, bitches!" "I am a homosexual bitches!" "Dick dick dick I love dick!" (he actually said that!) | | Thursday, August 21st, 2008 | | 12:25 pm |
Funny joke on full house
Hey, here's a funny joke I just saw on the show full house. Ok, let me set it up. Uncle Joey, Uncle Danny and Uncle Jesse are playing a 3 on 3 basketball game against a team coached by Kimmy Gibbler. DJ is their coach. Before the game, everyone jokes about how Uncle Jesse is bad at basketball. DJ tells Jesse not to shoot, but he can be their "defensive specialist." DJ: "That means you'll be gaurding their teams highest scorer." Uncle Jesse: "Who's that?" DJ: "Whoever you'll be guarding." That's a pretty good one for Full House right? | | Tuesday, July 29th, 2008 | | 12:21 pm |
Time to move back to new york
Why do they let these earthquakes happen? What a bunch of horseshit. Hey, here's a good idea, let's have the fucking GROUND BENEATH OUR FEET move all around like the city is riding on a crazy boat with a drunk captain!! | | Saturday, June 7th, 2008 | | 7:55 am |
My Review of the 1955, 1970, 1977, 1988, 1989 and 1990 Emmy Awards
I am making a commercial for the emmy awards at my job, so I have been going back and watching a bunch of old Emmy award shows. I have to say, the Emmy awards are a lot better than I would have thought. Normally I would never watch them because like most award shows, it seems really boring. The only one I ever really enjoy watching is the grammies, because they have a lot of musical performances, even though they always give the awards to shitty music. But it seems like with the emmys, they actually make an effort to make the show a little bit funny, unlike the oscars. Also, nobody takes themselves as seriously, and when they do, it's really funny, because it's just for being on LA Law (man, they won a lot of emmys). The 1955 emmys were actually pretty fun. Steve Allen was the host. He was best host of all 6 of the shows I watched. Second best was 1970, co-hosted by Dick Cavett and Bill Cosby. The WORST was 1990, hosted by Jay Leno. He kept making the shittiest jokes about the Persian Gulf war. Here is one: "Where do these people over there get all the flags to burn? I bet there's some american businessman over there who's like, if you burn one crate of flags this week, I'll get you another one for half off!" The weirdest host was Robert Blake, for 1977. He makes TWO gay jokes. I didn't realize they had gay jokes in 1977. He makes one about Liberace, then a little while later apologizes for it, saying "Liberace is a classy gentleman and sometimes I get loose and say things that are out of line." Another weird thing is that certain people kept popping up, even with the 11-year gap in tapes of shows that I had. Bea Arthur makes an "I'm so shocked" face and gets up and wins in 1977, then makes the exact same face when she gets up and wins in one of the the later 3 (they've all run together in my mind.) The muppets are in almost every one of these things. In 1970, Big Bird presents an award, (There had been a KFC ad in almost every commercial break, so Dick Cavett ad libs, "I'd hurry up with that, I think I see Colonel Sanders in the audience".) Kermit and Fozzy present in '77. Then, in '88, instead of the muppets in the "puppet spot," we get Alf, who makes a bunch of terrible jokes that nobody laughs at. I guess they learned their lesson from that one, because Miss Piggy and Kermit are back the next year. Then the year after that, there's a tribute to dead Jim Henson. Highlights that I can remember: 1955: Everyone is smoking in the audience. EVERYONE. Also, Danny Thomas is making his presentation and says, "There is a terrible joke on the teleprompter that I'm not going to read." Host Steve Allen jokingly complains that he isn't winning any awards. 1970: Every commercial is either for Kentucky Fried Chicken or Marlboro Cigarettes. Jay Leno joke: "What, they couldn't sell any ad time to 'eating the bloody shit of an AIDS patient?'" Dick Cavett makes a joke, "Racquel Welch and John Wayne starred together in a TV movie this year. What a great idea, to combine two things america loves. Sexual frustration and hatred of Indians." Co-host Bill Cosby jokingly complains that he isn't winning any awards. Mary Tyler Moore looks great. 1977: Nominated for best variety special: Doug Henning. I had seen pictures of this guy but holy fuck! What the fuck was he all about? Jesus Christ. Barry Manilow wins one and says "I'm freaking out!" Presenter Don Rickles makes a million black jokes. He keeps calling LeVar Burton 'Kunta Kinte" and says "If you get mad, don't throw a spear at me." Mary Tyler Moore is getting kind of wrinkly. 1988-1990 Tracey Ullman wins like 15 emmys. During every acceptance speech, she does an impression. First, she does one about how people in New York talk back stage versus people in LA. Then she imitates Julie "Marge Simpson / Rhoda's Friend" Kavner while Julie is standing next to her, looking annoyed. Then she does an impression of all the writers on her show telling her that the skits "aren't funny enough." Mary Tyler Moore's wrinkles are gone, and her mouth has become enormous. | | Tuesday, April 29th, 2008 | | 2:59 pm |
| | Tuesday, April 1st, 2008 | | 9:35 am |
April Fools Prank Played Upon Me
Listen to this hilarious prank that was played on me: In a fit of absolute chicanery, my shower drain pretended to be a REVERSE TOILET this weekend and sent my week's ASS BLOOD rocketing UP OUT OF THE DRAIN AND INTO MY BATHTUB!!!! HAR HAR HAR! VERY FUNNY MR DRAIN MAN! | | Thursday, March 13th, 2008 | | 10:39 am |
| | Saturday, February 16th, 2008 | | 9:31 pm |
| | Monday, February 4th, 2008 | | 10:33 pm |
a good school
I have been looking up info on public schools in LA. There is a website where parents and students can "review" their schools. Here is a review from one of the schools, Virgil MIddle School on Vermont: Posted November 19, 2007 - Virgil is a great school alot of people say we are bad kids and we don't know nothing. Thats all lies!!! We learn and yeah we are not the richest school but we rewspect our territory! we aren't ashamed we represent virgil. And we do have after school activities like cheer,drill, soccer, basketball, football, softball,hip-hop,and many other things. So before people people talk they need to go to our and see that we are not bad. We have respect for our school and others need to have respect for us! | | Saturday, January 26th, 2008 | | 1:21 am |
review of the new rambo movie
I saw the new Rambo movie tonight. Well, I saw the first half of it. A bunch of mean guys are killing people. Then rambo and a bunch of soldiers start shooting at them. Then, if you can believe this shit, I fell asleep. I woke up and rambo was walking through a cornfield, and the credits started to roll. For some weird reason, the rhythm of all the shooting put me to sleep. When I walked out, everyone was saying how awesome the movie was, so I guess it's pretty good. | | Tuesday, January 22nd, 2008 | | 8:49 pm |
new horrible thing my body is doing
I smell like a skunk. What the hell? This morning when i woke up, i was like, man a skunk must have sprayed outside - but then when i got outside... NO SKUNK SMELL - it was only in my bedroom. Then, later I was in this woman's office today, and she was like, do you smell something, like a skunk so i was like, i'll check the hall. i walked out into the hall and she was like, oh, now the smell's gone. I had to have a conversation standing five feet outside the door because she asked me not to go back in. | | Thursday, January 17th, 2008 | | 9:03 am |
| | Friday, December 14th, 2007 | | 10:36 am |
This Huckabee fucker
I would probably kill myself is this guy was elected president on account of his politics (and the fact that he does not believe in evolution!) but I gotta say, his thunderous bass grooves (his bass solo is at 2:14) put Bill Clintons tame sax solos to shame... Actually, he kind of sucks! All he does is play dominant 7th arpeggios for the chords of the song! Come on Huckabee, not only do you not believe in Evolution, you don't believe 9ths, blue notes or passing tones! This is one candidate I would like to debate with a bass-off. | | Wednesday, December 12th, 2007 | | 1:13 am |
I took a hollywood big shot to a shitty dive bar
tonight was the abc network christmas party. I convinced the senior vice president of abc to come hang out at tiny's, this hollywood rock and roll dive bar where they play motly crue and ozzy. He had the time of his life, maybe because he left with this hot asian broad from my work. At the end of the night, he was like "thank's tiny for taking me here." tiny is of course the name of the bar, not my name, but i feel i made a good impression. | | Tuesday, October 9th, 2007 | | 3:58 pm |
since everyone is blogging about their concerts...
I will tell you about my experience seeing Jethro Tull on Saturday. My old friend ![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) jdryznar scored some free tix for this event, held at the Sherman Oaks Community College amphitheater. shekb complained about Springsteen pandering to the crowd. But you know what? Ol' Bruce gets to play at the big arenas with lines like, "How about them phillies?" Jethro Tull is playing at a community college because Ian Anderson's stage banter included lines like, "This is a song composed by Henry the Eighth," and "This is one of the most popular Jethro Tull songs, but it doesn't have any of my flute, so I've added a flute part (cue 10 minute flute intro to Aqualung)." Now, I am not trying to bag on Jethro Tull, they were pretty entertaining, what with the rockin' solos from guitarist Martin Barre and Ian's crazy court-jester prancing. There were only three major misteps - a song called "the Water Carrier" which replaced the rock band arrangement of electric guitar, bass and drums with Mandolin, Bongos and Lute, a song called "One Night in Budapest" that actually lasted the rock equivalent of about 12 nights, and an instrumental medley of tunes from West Side Story which, Ian announced, was "done in the style of Keith Emerson." The funniest part of the whole thing came at a dinner beforehand - the concert was some kind of a fundraiser for the Sherman Oaks Council for the Arts, and this blonde society MILF came up to make a speech saying she never thought that the council for the arts would be hosting something "as hip and edgy as a Jethro Tull concert." | | Wednesday, September 26th, 2007 | | 10:47 am |
fuck McDreamy and his stupid omelet station
I just got busted trying to get an omelete from the Grey's Anatomy omelet station. There were a bunch of signs by the omelet guy saying 'Grey's Anatomy Only." But I figured, this dude is making omelets, he's getting 8 bucks an hour, he doesn't care if I work at Grey's Anatomy or not. So I go to order a FREE omlete. As expected, the omelet guy didn't ask, he starts making an omelet. Then, this big fat guy in a Hawaiian shirt comes up to me. He's like, "Hi there I'm Hawaiian shirt fatty, I'm the production manager, what's your name?" I said my name's Tony. He said "What do you do on Grey's?" I couldn't think of a good lie. I should have said, I play Grey. That's me, I can't believe you asked. But I panicked and admitted I don't work for Grey. He started to launch into a big speech about how he had a big production to pay for and blah blah blah. Meanwhile, the omelet was already cooked. The omelet guy was gonna give it to me, but I was like, no I can't have it. So he threw it in the trash. Hawaiian shirt kept making his speech but I just walked away. | | Tuesday, September 25th, 2007 | | 2:23 pm |
more comments update from my guitar lesson youtube video
i've got some good new ones... you are a mother fucking idiot. eat my hotdog mother fucker. ur a fuckin retard! wtf, worst guitar lesson man you are a fucking butt plug! shut up you hairy minge! go and fucking get a better guitar get a hair cut and get the fuck off the internet! Is tis guy playing his guitar or masturbating? he's so high.. but the outcome sucks.. dude, go jump into the river and DIE! ( http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tw3JfzgFXrA) |
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